A Cinematic Homer-age | Simpsons World on FXX

Simpsons World Account (previously your FX Account) Log In

view profile ( )

Log Out

To watch full episodes,
you must sign in

Sign Out

Access your Simpsons World settings.

Head over to FXNOW to access full episodes,
movies, and unique original content from 3 channels
- FX, FXX, and FXM.

Go To

Extras

x

01:41

(Simpson Home: INT. SIMPSON HOuse - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT)

01:41

Announcer: (GERMAN ACCENT) Ladies and gentlemen, it's "Up Late with McBain," I'm your announcer, Ubergruppenfuher Wolfcastle.

01:49

Announcer: (À LA ED MCMAHON) And, heeeeere's McBain.

01:57

McBain: Ya. Thank you. Ya, that's nice. Let's say hello to my music guy, Scoey.

02:06

McBain: That is some outfit, Scoey. It makes you look like a homosexual.

Audience: (BOOS)

02:12

McBain: (TO CROWD) Maybe you all are homosexuals too.

Audience: (BOOS LOUDER)

02:17

Bart Simpson: This is horrible.

02:19

Lisa Simpson: The Fox network has sunk to a new low.

02:22

Marge Simpson: Lisa, you got a letter.

02:23

Lisa Simpson: It's from my pen pal, Anya!

02:26

Little Girl: Dear Lisa. As I write this I am very sad. Our president has been overthrown and...

02:30

Sinister Male Voice: ... replaced by the benevolent General Krull. All hail Krull and his glorious new regime. Sincerely, Little Girl.

Lisa Simpson: (WORRIED NOISE)

02:43

Marge Simpson: You got a letter too, Bart.

03:11

Bart Simpson: (FRIGHTENED) "I'm going to kill you." (GASPS)

03:57

(SOMEONE'S ROOM: INT. SOMEONE'S ROOM - NIGHT)

03:57

(Simpson Home: INT. SIMPSON HOUSE - DAY)

03:57

Lisa Simpson: Bart, what's wrong with you?

04:03

Homer Simpson: (VERY SCARED) Oh my god, someone's trying to kill me! (VERY CALM) Oh wait, it's for Bart.

04:13

Marge Simpson: Hmm. This one's done in different handwriting.

04:17

Homer Simpson: (TAKES LETTER, EMBARRASSED) Oh. I wrote that one, after Bart somehow put this tattoo on my butt.

04:28

Nelson Muntz: Haw haw!

04:28

Bart Simpson: But who'd want to hurt me? I'm this century's "Dennis the Menace."

04:31

Homer Simpson: It's probably the person you least suspect!

04:34

Lisa Simpson: (HUMORING HIM) That's good, Dad.

04:37

Grampa Simpson: I say we call Matlock. He'll find the culprit. It's probably that evil Gavin McCloud or George "Goober" Lindsey.

04:45

Bart Simpson: Grampa, Matlock's not real.

04:47

Grampa Simpson: Neither are my teeth, but I can still eat corn on the cob if someone cuts it off and smushes it into a fine paste. Now that's good eating.

04:58

(Springfield Elementary School: EXT. SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY - DAY)

04:58

Milhouse Van Houten: I checked around. The girls are calling you "fatty fat fat fat", and Nelson's planning to pull down your pants, but nobody's trying to kill you.

05:07

Bart Simpson: (SIGHS) That's good.

05:11

Schoolyard Girls: (LAUGH, THEN SING-SONG) Fatty fat fat fat! Fatty fatty fat fat!

05:14

(Simpson Home: INT. SIMPSON HOUSE - BART'S ROOM - MORNING)

05:14

Marty: All right, this is dedicated to Bart Simpson with the message, "I am coming to kill you, slowly and painfully."

05:34

(SOMEONE'S ROOM: INT. SOMEONE'S ROOM - DAY)

05:34

Marge Simpson: (SAVAGE) Bart, I'm going to get you...

05:37

Marge Simpson: (FRIENDLY) ... some ice cream at the store, since I'm saving so much money on diet cola.

05:45

(Simpson Home: EXT. SIMPSON house - BACKYARD - A LITTLE LATER)

05:45

Ned Flanders: (SAVAGE WHISPER) Say your prayers, Simpson...

Bart Simpson: (TERRIFIED NOISE)

05:49

Ned Flanders: (CHIPPER) ... 'cause the schools can't force you like they should.

05:55

Ned Flanders: Maude, these new finger-razors make hedge trimming as fun as sitting through church.

06:05

(Springfield Elementary School: int. springfield elementary - day)

06:05

Edna Krabappel-Flanders: (SCARY) You're going to be my murder victim, Bart...

06:10

MRS KRABAPPEL: (CHIPPER) ... in our school production of "Lizzie Borden," starring Martin Prince as Lizzie!

06:14

Martin Prince: Fourty whacks with a wet noodle, Bart!

06:17

(Springfield Police Station: INT. POLICE STATION - DAY)

06:17

Chief Wiggum: I'd like to help you, ma'am, but (SMALL CHUCKLE) I'm afraid there's no law against mailing threatening letters.

06:23

Marge Simpson: I'm pretty sure there is.

06:24

Chief Wiggum: Hrrmph. The day I take cop lessons from Ma Kettle--

06:28

Lou: Hey, she's right, chief.

06:29

Chief Wiggum: Well, shut my mouth. It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.

06:40

Chief Wiggum: Boys, knock it off.

06:44

(Simpson Home: INT. SIMPSON HOUSE - KITCHEN - EVENING)

06:44

Lisa Simpson: Bart, I figured it out. Who's someone you've been making irritating phone calls to for years?

06:50

Bart Simpson: Linda Lavin?

06:51

Lisa Simpson: No, someone who didn't deserve it.

06:54

Lisa Simpson: Hello Moe?

06:56

(Moe's Tavern: INT. MOE'S TAVERN - CONTINUOUS)

06:56

Lisa Simpson: We know you're the one behind this. So knock it off or we're going to the cops.

07:00

Moe Szyslak: (QUIETLY) No no, I'll take care of it.

07:03

Moe Szyslak: Okay it's over! Get 'em out of here!

07:08

Moe Szyslak: (TO BEARS) All right, andalay! Andalay!

07:10

(Simpson Home: INT. SIMPSON HOUSE - BART'S ROOM - NIGHT)

07:10

Bart Simpson: You're out there somewhere. But where? Where?

07:37

(Prison Cell: INT. PRISON CELL - SOMEONE'S DESK)

Sideshow Bob: (MANIACAL CHUCKLE)

07:37

Sideshow Bob: "Dear Life in these United States. A funny thing happened to me..." (WOOZY NOISE)

07:37

Snake Jailbird: Use a pen, Sideshow Bob.

07:58

(Springfield Prison: EXT. PRISON - ESTABLISHING - DAY)

07:58

(PAROLE BOARD: int. parole board - continuous)

07:58

Parole Board Head: Parole granted! (BEAT) Next up for parole, Bob Terwilliger, aka Sideshow Bob.

08:05

Sideshow Bob: Take care, Snake. May the next time we meet be under more felicitous circumstances.

08:11

Snake Jailbird: (DIMLY) Guh?

08:12

Sideshow Bob: Take care.

08:13

Snake Jailbird: (SATISFIED) Buh.

08:14

Chief Wiggum: Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me Chief Piggum!

People In Court: (LAUGH)

08:18

Chief Wiggum: (LAUGHS TOO) Oh, now I get it. (LAUGHS)

08:25

(HEARING ROOM: INT. HEARING ROOM - LATER)

08:25

Selma Bouvier: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon!

08:30

People In Court: Murmur!... Murmur!... Murmur!

08:30

Blue-Haired Lawyer: How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now?

08:36

Blue-Haired Lawyer: Be honest.

08:43

Patty Bouvier: Ah, she's always leaving the toilet seat up.

08:47

Blue-Haired Lawyer: Robert, if released, would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?

08:53

Sideshow Bob: (SCOFFING) Bart Simpson? The spirited little scamp (GROWING DARK) who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine-soaked hell-hole?

09:04

Parole Board Member #1: Uh... we object to the term, "urine-soaked hell-hole" when you could have said, "peepee-soaked heck-hole."

09:10

Sideshow Bob: Cheerfully withdrawn.

09:12

Blue-Haired Lawyer: What about that tattoo on your chest. Doesn't it say "Die Bart, Die?"

09:17

Sideshow Bob: No... That's German (OPENS SHIRT) for "The Bart, The."

09:17

Parole Board: (PLEASED) Oh. / How continental. / Etc.

09:24

Parole Board Member #2: No one who speaks German could be an evil man.

09:27

Parole Board Head: Parole granted.

09:37

(Springfield Prison: EXT. PRISON - LATER)

09:37

(Aztec Theater: EXT. AZTEC THEATER - NIGHT)

09:37

(Movie Theater: INT. MOVIE THEATER)

09:37

Man On Screen: Wow, the pooblic libary. Let's stay here for a while, Vern.

Sideshow Bob: (LAUGHS UPROARIOUSLY)

09:48

Marge Simpson: (COUGH, WAVING AWAY SMOKE) That man is so rude.

09:50

Homer Simpson: Yeah.

Sideshow Bob: (LAUGHS UPROARIOUSLY)

09:55

Homer Simpson: If you don't mind, we're trying to watch the mov...

09:58

Man On Screen: (ON SCREEN) Hey, Vern, help me get my get head out of this toilet.

10:08

Sideshow Bob: Oh really, now. That's too much.

10:10

Lisa Simpson: (SCREAM) Sideshow Bob!

10:12

Bart Simpson: You wrote me those letters.

10:14

Marge Simpson: You awful man. Stay away from my son.

10:16

Sideshow Bob: Oh I'll stay away from your son, all right. (OMINOUS) Stay away, forever.

10:21

Homer Simpson: (TERRIFIED) Oh no!

10:22

Sideshow Bob: Wait a minute. That's no good.

10:31

Sideshow Bob: Wait. I've got a good one now. Marge, say, "Stay away from my son" again.

10:35

Marge Simpson: No!

Sideshow Bob: (UNHAPPY GROWL)

10:48

(Sideshow Bob's Room: INT. SIDESHOW BOB'S ROOM - night)

10:48

Woman On Tape: And turn! And flex! And shake! And bounce! And turn! And flex! And shake! And bounce!

11:02

(Simpson Home: INT. SIMPSON HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY)

11:02

Chief Wiggum: Now Sideshow Bob can't get in without me knowing. And once a man is in your home, anything you do to him is nice and legal.

11:10

Homer Simpson: Is that so? (CALLS OUT WINDOW) Oh, Flan-ders! Won't you join me in my kitchen?

11:19

Chief Wiggum: It doesn't work if you invite him.

11:22

Ned Flanders: (ENTERING) Hiedilly-hey!

11:23

Homer Simpson: Go home.

11:24

Ned Flanders: (LEAVING) Toodledy-doo!

11:25

(PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR'S OFFICE: INT. PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR'S OFFICE - DAY)

11:25

Investigator: Now don't you fret. When I'm through, he won't set foot in this town again. I can be very, very persuasive.

11:36

(SPRINGFIELD BAR: INT. SPRINGFIELD BAr - LATER)

11:36

Investigator: (WHINY) Come on! Leave town!

11:38

Sideshow Bob: No.

11:39

Investigator: (WHINY) I'll be your friend.

11:40

Sideshow Bob: No.

11:40

Investigator: (WHINY) You're mean.

11:43

(Simpson Home: ext. Simpson house - day)

11:43

Sideshow Bob: (ON P.A.) The following neighborhood residents will not be killed by me. Ned Flanders, Maude Flanders...

11:50

(Flanders Home: int. Flanders house - continuous)

11:50

Ned Flanders: Isn't that nice?

11:52

(Simpson Home: ext. Simpson house - day)

11:52

Sideshow Bob: ... Homer Simpson, Marge Simpson, Lisa Simpson, that little baby Simpson. That is all.

11:59

Homer Simpson: Woo hoo! Did you hear, Bart? (REALIZING) Oh.

12:09

(FBI OFFICE: INT. FBI OFFICE - DAY)

12:09

Fbi Agent #1: Don't worry, Mrs. Simpson, we've helped hundreds of people in danger. We'll give you a new name, a new job, new identities.

12:15

Homer Simpson: Ooh! I wanna be John Elway.

12:18

(Football Field: ext. football field - day)

12:18

Football Announcer: (KEITH JACKSON VOICE) Elway takes the snap and runs it in for a touchdown!

12:23

Football Announcer: Thanks to Elway's patented last-second magic, the final score of Super Bowl 30: Denver - 7; San Francisco - 56!

12:31

Homer Simpson: (STANDING UP) Woo hoo!

12:32

Marge Simpson: I don't think this is such a good idea.

12:35

Homer Simpson: This isn't just because of Sideshow Bob. It's a chance to turn around all our stinking lives.

12:40

Bart Simpson: (COCKNEY) I'll be Gus, the lovable chimney sweep. Clean as a whistle, sharp as a thistle, best in all Westminster. Yeah!

12:47

Homer Simpson: Shut up, boy.

12:48

Fbi Agent #2: (IGNORING HIM) We have places your family can hide in peace and security: Cape Fear, Terror Lake, New Horrorfield, Screamville...

12:55

Homer Simpson: Ooh, Ice Creamville.

12:57

Fbi Agent #2: No. Screamville.

Homer Simpson: (SCREAMS)

12:59

Fbi Agent #1: Tell you what sir, from now on you'll be Homer Thompson at Terror Lake. Let's just practice a bit. When I say "Hello, Mr. Thompson," you'll say, "Hi."

13:06

Homer Simpson: Check.

13:10

Fbi Agent #1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.

13:12

Fbi Agent #1: Remember now, your name is Homer Thompson.

13:16

Homer Simpson: I got ya.

13:17

Fbi Agent #1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.

13:24

Fbi Agent #1: (WEARY) Now when I say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson" and press down on your foot... you smile and nod.

13:31

Homer Simpson: No problem.

13:32

Fbi Agent #1: (STEPPING ON FOOT) Hello, Mr. Thompson.

13:36

Homer Simpson: (LOUD WHISPER TO FBI AGENT #2) I think he's talking to you.

13:41

(Simpson Home: EXT. SIMPSON HOUSE - DAY)

13:41

Fbi Agent #1: Here you go.

13:42

Marge Simpson: Oh, what a cute convertible. You guys at the bureau thought of everything.

13:46

Lisa Simpson: Hey look! "The FBI Light Opera Society Sings the Complete Gilbert and Sullivan."

13:55

Lisa Simpson: (SINGING ALONG WITH CASSETTE) THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM SCHOOL ARE WE / PERT AS A SCHOOLGIRL WELL CAN BE / FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH GIRLISH GLEE / THREE LITTLE MAIDS FROM SCHOOL...

14:03

Homer Simpson: (SINGING) EVERYTHING IS A SOURCE OF FUN...

14:05

Bart Simpson: (SINGING) HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Sideshow Bob: (SINISTER CHUCKLE)

14:11

Homer Simpson: Lousy speed bumps.

Sideshow Bob: (PAINED GRUNTS)

14:14

(Simpson Convertible: EXT. Simpson convertible - FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD)

14:14

Homer Simpson: Ew. This coffee's too hot.

Sideshow Bob: (MUFFLED SCREAMS)

14:20

(Street: ext. street - day)

14:20

Homer Simpson: Hey, kids! Wanna drive through that cactus patch?

14:27

Bart Simpson: Yeah!

14:27

Lisa Simpson: Yeah!

14:28

Sideshow Bob: No!

14:30

Homer Simpson: Whup, two against one!

14:32

Sideshow Bob: Ow! / Oh! / Etc.

14:35

(Sky: EXT. SKY)

14:35

Celestial Choir: The Thompsons!

15:00

(Houseboat: int. houseboat - continuous)

15:00

(MARINA: ext. marina)

15:00

Homer Simpson: Wow, a houseboat! You know, the great thing is if you don't like your neighbors, you can just pull up the anchor and sail someplace else.

Sideshow Bob: (SHUDDERS)

Sideshow Bob: (SHUDDERS)

15:51

(Harbor: ext. harbor)

15:51

(Houseboat: int. houseboat - continuous)

15:51

Marge Simpson: Homer, where's the dog?

15:52

Homer Simpson: I tied him up, out back.

15:59

Marge Simpson: (SIGHS) We've left it all behind. How can you make a clean break with your life?

16:05

Homer Simpson: Relax, Marge. I tied up all the loose ends before we left.

16:10

(Old Simpson Home: EXT. SIMPSONS' OLD HOUSE)

16:10

Grampa Simpson: Hello? (TAPS WINDOW) Hel-lo? (TAPS WINDOW) You have my pills! Hel-lo? (PATHETIC) I'm cold and there are wolves after me.

16:28

(Street: Ext. Street)

16:28

Sideshow Bob: Hello, Bart.

Bart Simpson: (SCREAMS)

16:32

Sideshow Bob: Down here, Bart.

Sideshow Bob: (MUFFLED SCREAM)

16:38

Bart Simpson: What do you want?

16:39

Sideshow Bob: Surely there's no harm in laying in the middle of a public street.

16:50

Sideshow Bob: (MUFFLED SCREAMS) Not the elephants! (MUFFLED SCREAMS)

17:09

(Houseboat: Int. Houseboat)

17:09

Homer Simpson: (SAVORING) Aaah...

17:11

Bart Simpson: Mom! Dad! I saw Sideshow Bob and he threatened to kill me!

17:14

Homer Simpson: Bart! Don't interrupt!

17:16

Marge Simpson: Homer, this is serious.

17:17

Homer Simpson: Oh it is not.

17:25

(Motel Room: int. motel room - night)

17:25

Sideshow Bob: (WRITING) Roman numeral three, surprise boy in bed... (SIP) and a... disembowel him. No, I don't like that "bowel" in there. "Gut him." Ahh... Le mot juste.

17:45

(Houseboat: Int. Houseboat - Bart's Room - Night)

17:45

Homer Simpson: BARTDOYOUWANTSOMEBROWNIESBEFORE YOUGOTOBED?!

Bart Simpson: (SCREAMS)

17:48

Homer Simpson: C'mon, let me cut you a brownie while they're still hot.

17:51

Bart Simpson: Dad, I'm kinda edgy right now. I'd appreciate you not coming in my room screaming and brandishing a butcher knife.

17:59

Homer Simpson: Why? (BEAT) Oh, right. The Sideshow Bob thing. Sorry, boy.

18:09

Homer Simpson: BARTDOYOUWANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAWAND HOCKEYMASK?

Bart Simpson: (SCREAMS)

18:13

Homer Simpson: Sorry. What am I thinking? (KISSES BART)

Sideshow Bob: (SHUDDERS)

18:37

Sideshow Bob: Hello, Bart.

18:39

Bart Simpson: Mom! Dad!

18:40

Sideshow Bob: Your family can't help you now.

18:46

(KITCHEN: Int. Kitchen)

18:46

Lisa Simpson: Oh, no! Dad's been drugged!

18:48

Marge Simpson: (ANNOYED MURMUR) No, he hasn't.

19:02

(Houseboat: Int. Houseboat - Bart's bedroom)

19:02

Bart Simpson: Uh-oh.

Bart Simpson: (SCARED NOISE)

19:12

Bart Simpson: (REMEMBERING) Oh, yeah.

19:13

Sideshow Bob: Well, Bart. Any last requests?

19:17

Bart Simpson: Well, there is one, but...

19:22

Bart Simpson: Nah.

19:24

Sideshow Bob: No, go on.

19:25

Bart Simpson: Well, you have such a beautiful voice...

19:28

Sideshow Bob: (MELLIFLUOUSLY) Guilty as charged.

19:29

Bart Simpson: Uh-huh. Anyway... I was wondering if you could sing the entire score of "The HMS Pinafore"?

19:35

Sideshow Bob: Very well, Bart. I shall send you to heaven before I send you to hell. (TAPS TOE) And a two and a three and...

19:44

Sideshow Bob: (SINGING) WE SAIL THE OCEAN BLUE / AND OUR SAUCY SHIP'S A BEAUTY / WE ARE SOBER MEN AND TRUE / AND ATTENTIVE TO OUR DUTY...

19:53

Sideshow Bob: (SINGING) I'M CALLED LITTLE BUTTERCUP / POOR LITTLE BUTTERCUP / THOUGH I COULD NEVER TELL WHY...

20:03

Sideshow Bob: (SINGING) WHAT NEVER? / NO NEVER / WHAT NEVER?...

20:07

Bart Simpson: (SINGING) HARDLY EVER! HE'S HARDLY EVER SICK AT SEA!

20:12

Sideshow Bob: (SINGING) FOR HE HIMSELF HAS SAID IT / AND IT'S CLEARLY TO HIS CREDIT / THAT HE IS AN ENGLISHMAN / HE REMAINS AN E-E-E-E-NGLISHMAN!

20:49

Sideshow Bob: And now, (DRAWING SWORD) the final curtain.

20:59

Chief Wiggum: Hold it right there, Sideshow Bob. You're under arrest.

21:03

Sideshow Bob: By Lucifer's Beard!

21:05

Chief Wiggum: Uh, yeah. It's a good thing you drifted by this brothel.

21:12

(SHORE: Ext. Shore)

21:12

Bart Simpson: I knew I had to buy some time. So, I asked him to sing the score from "The HMS Pinafore."

21:16

Homer Simpson: Ooh, a plan fiendishly clever in its intricacies.

21:20

Bart Simpson: Take him away, boys.

21:22

Chief Wiggum: Hey, I'm the Chief here. (TO EDDIE AND LOU) Bake him away, toys.

21:25

Lou: What'd you say, Chief?

21:26

Chief Wiggum: Do what the kid says.

21:31

(Car: int. car - day)

21:31

Marge Simpson: It's so good to be home again.

21:35

Grampa Simpson: (A LITTLE FEMININE) Look what happened without my pills.

21:39

Marge Simpson: (SHOCKED) Bart, run upstairs and get Grampa's medicine!

21:42

Jasper Beardly: Not so fast. I wanna court this fair young maiden.

21:46

Grampa Simpson: There's something you should know about me.

21:49

Jasper Beardly: I've got Steve and Edie tickets.

21:51

Grampa Simpson: I'm all yours. (KISSING SOUND)

SEASON 5 EPISODE 2

Cape Feare

This episode is available in 4:3 & 16:9

|

Audio commentary available

Sideshow Bob terrorizes Bart after he is paroled from prison. ...

CAST & CREW
Dan Castellaneta
Nancy Cartwright
Julie Kavner
Yeardley Smith
Harry Shearer

Producers
David Mirkin

DIRECTORS
Rich Moore

WRITERS
Jon Vitti

Read More +

CLIPS FROM THIS EPISODE

(5 Clips)

Expand

Close X

Clip From S5/E2

Parole Granted
Clip From S5/E2

Parole Granted

Sideshow Bob is released from prison.
Clip From S5/E2

A Movie With Sideshow Bob
Clip From S5/E2

A Movie With Sideshow Bob

The Simpsons see Sideshow Bob at the movie theater.
Clip From S5/E2

Mr. Thompson
Clip From S5/E2

Mr. Thompson

Homer is given a new name for protection.
Clip From S5/E2

Bob's No-Kill List
Clip From S5/E2

Bob's No-Kill List

Sideshow Bob announces which Springfield residents he will not kill.
Clip From S5/E2

Brownies
Clip From S5/E2

Brownies

Homer scares Bart at night with a chainsaw and a knife.

You may also like...

S5/E7

Bart's Inner Child

S5/E5

Treehouse of Horror IV

S5/E20

The Boy Who Knew Too Much

Something Random