Super Franchise Me
Marge opens a sandwich shop. ...
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Ned Flanders: Well, we pulled more plugs than a Dutch doctor. Now let's take a trip to the side of the house.
Ned Flanders: (GASPS) Why that's a higher power than even I believe in. What is going on?
Homer Simpson: Turn right here. I keep this frozen meat in case society collapses but we still have power.
Marge Simpson: (WIRED, FAST) ...so, I cooked the meat, sliced it up, made sandwiches, cut off the crusts, fed those to the dog...
Homer Simpson: (ADMIRING) Oh Marge, once again you've taken one of my screw-ups and turned it into food. Man, if only you could do that with Bart.
Lisa Simpson: (SLEEPY, YAWNS) Hey mom, can you pack me a dozen sandwiches in my lunch tomorrow? Meat, no meat, it's all good.
TRUDY ZENGLER: (FAST) Marge, see this face? It's opportunity! Blink and you'll miss it.
TRUDY ZENGLER: Just kidding. I'm right behind you. I'm Trudy Zengler, vice president of development for "Mother Hubbard's Sandwich Cupboards."
TRUDY ZENGLER: How would you like to run your own business? Take control of your financial future!
Marge Simpson: Homie, how much money do we have put aside in case something happens to you?
TRUDY ZENGLER: If that flashback you just described is true, you can't afford not to open this franchise.
Bart Simpson: Mom, if you're gonna do this, there's one thing I need to know. And be honest. What's your soda refill policy?
Thought Bubble Homer: (GULPING, MONSTER-LIKE) Mmm, that's good. (GULPS) More, more! (GULPS) Refill! (GULPS) Free!
(MOTHER HUBBARD'S SANDWICH CUPBOARD: Int. Mother Hubbard's Sandwich Cupboard - a little later)
Krusty the Clown: Well, well, well. Seems like someone forgot there's a Krustyburger two blocks away.
TRUDY ZENGLER: You're a cool customer, Marge. And we've got your back. With everything from pre-sliced tomatoes, to the homey needlepoint on the walls.
TRUDY ZENGLER: And now, the best part of running your own franchise -- picking your Sammy Fammy! You'll want to avoid that. (POINTS O.S.)
Gil Gunderson: As you can see, I was just two credits short at Southern Illinois, and-- (DESPERATE) I gotta be honest with you, Marge. I need this job bad.
Gil Gunderson: God, it's a new world, Marge. A whole new world. Why my Dad spent his whole life at one company. Started in the basement mailroom, and ended his career jumpin' out the window from the top floor.
Shauna Chalmers: Oh, I get it. You won't hire me because I'm pretty. That can be a lawsuit.
Marge Simpson: Professor... could you say "Welcome to Mother Hubbard's Sandwich Cupboard" without making any other noises?
Professor Jonathan Frink: Of course I can, my dear child. (GREAT STRUGGLE) Welcome to... Mother Hubbard's... (CRACKING) uh... Sandwich mcboing boing glavin flyvy hyvy goyvyn and now I'm running to the Unemployment Office.
Marge Simpson: I'm sorry I woke you up. I'm just so anxious about tomorrow. What if the store fails? What if I fail?
Homer Simpson: I love you, Marjorie. And I've had my share of failures, sure. And sometimes I get pretty nervous. But thanks for talking it out with me. I think I can finally get to sleep now.
Gil Gunderson: Interested in some exotic dancers, huh? Today's "Tell You Their Real Name" Tuesday.
(MOTHER HUBBARD'S SANDWICH CUPBOARD: Int. Mother Hubbard's Sandwich Cupboard - afternoon)
Marge Simpson: Homie, I'm a little worried. Do you know there were no customers between two and four?
Homer Simpson: Hey, Tony Roma's wasn't built in a day. But don't worry. I told everyone about this place and they're all going to support you. You do have drone delivery, right? I kinda promised that.
(MOTHER HUBBARD'S SANDWICH CUPBOARD: ext. Mother Hubbard's Sandwich Cupboard - establishing)
Marge Simpson: Mother Hubbard Central expects you to buy a lot of stuff from them. Uniforms, fixins... it's like they don't care if you make money as long as they make money. What kind of corporation does that?
Gil Gunderson: (CONFIDENTIAL, STAMMERING) And I'm not trying to be political, but I'm the only one you can trust here. (POINTS TO FRONT ROOM)
Shauna Chalmers: Oh, so you're like firing me like in that movie where that girl gets fired?
Marge Simpson: What am I going to do? I'm down two employees and it's the afternoon rush!
Chief Wiggum: I need a six-foot party sub. Lots of mayonnaise. And I mean lots. Never stop squirting mayo.
(MOTHER HUBBARD'S SANDWICH CUPBOARD: Int. Mother Hubbard's Sandwich Cupboard - later that night)
Marge Simpson: (SIGHS) I was short-staffed and your father volunteered. (SHEEPISH) Actually, I was wondering if you two might want to lend a hand.
Bart Simpson: You're supposed to be driving me to a tennis class I said I wanted then I changed my mind and I hate it so much I'm faking stomach aches to get out of it.
Marge Simpson: Guys, this is gonna be hard for a while, but we'll get through this... as a family.
Marge Simpson: Good everybody. You won't believe it but we actually turned a profit today.
Marge Simpson: (CHOKED UP) Kids, we're taking some shredded lettuce, pre-sliced cheese, and cold cuts and turning them into the American dream.
Marge Simpson: (GASPS) They're opening another Mother Hubbard -- across the street?! How could they? How could they?!
Cletus Spuckler: (TO SPECIFIC KIDS) Okay, in you go, Minimum Wade, Addem-up, Oxycontin, Fontanelle, and Pediculus. You make way for those that's nocturnal comin' off the night shift.
Bart Simpson: Mom, I need a few hours off. It's Milhouse's birthday party and I'm all the guests.
(MOTHER HUBBARD'S SANDWICH CUPBOARD: int. Mother Hubbard's Sandwich Cupboard - later)
C. Montgomery Burns: (ASIDE) Simpson, introduce me to this almond-eyed beauty, and all is forgiven.
Homer Simpson: (PLAYING ALONG) Uh, Mr. Burns, I'd like you to meet... (CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING BETTER) Mother Hubbard standee.
C. Montgomery Burns: From the Wisconsin Standees! Milk-fed, yet so slim. Permit me to play you a tune on my mouth organ.
C. Montgomery Burns: (BREEZILY) Sorry you died! (TO SMITHERS, GRIM) Put the body with the others.
Grampa Simpson: Homer, if I ever seem that senile, get a gun and... (PANICKY) What are you doing with that gun?!
Marge Simpson: (GASPS) You're working so hard you've lost weight! (DESPAIRING) We're killing ourselves trying to run a restaurant no one goes to... I've never said this to you before, but I'm saying it now. (DRAMATIC) I'm going to Moe's.
Marge Simpson: (SADLY) Now I know why Homie comes here so much. No matter how sad you are inside, what you see looks worse.
Moe Szyslak: Yeah. It was really hard for me to make this place look old but not in any way comfortable. Now maybe some TV'll cheer ya up.
Cletus Spuckler: (STIFF) If yous in the mood for a sammich, come on down to Mother Hubbard's Sandwich Cupboard Express, for all the sandwiches you love!
Moe Szyslak: Uh, listen there, Midge. I know how to get youse outta your contract. But I gotta warn ya...
Marge Simpson: So you see, Ms. Zengler, the Mother Hubbard's Express across the street is stealing all our business. It's not fair.
TRUDY ZENGLER: If you want fairness, work at a Sunglass Hut. This is the sandwich game.
Lisa Simpson: (BRASSY WAITRESS) One Florence Nightingale in a box and make it snappy!
Homer Simpson: (PAINED SHRIEK) Why do these things happen to innocent victims? I was just about to become a million dollar crotch model!
Marge Simpson: (TO TRUDY) Really? But the franchise agreement says Mother Hubbard Inc. would provide adequate training for all employees, which they didn't. (HOLDS UP AGREEMENT) Clause twenty-seven C-3.
TRUDY ZENGLER: (PAGING THROUGH AGREEMENT) You actually read this thing? It was written by two lawyers who had to keep waking the other one up.
Marge Simpson: If you'll just give me back my original investment, I'll take full responsibility for this man's injuries.
Homer Simpson: Well, family, we should be proud. We took on corporate America and broke even.
Waylon Smithers: (EXHAUSTED) Sir... I... I think we've gone far enough... to dispose of the body.
(Springfield Museum of Natural History: int. springfield museum of natural history - PRESENT DAY)
Marge opens a sandwich shop. ...
(5 Clips)
Clip From S26/E3
Sandwich Montage
A montage of Marge's sandwich shop doing well.
Clip From S26/E3
Marge's store
Marge is going to open a sandwich store.
Clip From S26/E3
The Dawn of the Sandwich
Caveman Homer creates the sandwich.
Clip From S26/E3
Marge is Anxious
Marge is nervous the night before opening her store.
Clip From S26/E3
Marge's Scheme
Marge and the Simpsons pull off a scheme to get their investment back.