Gump Roast | season 13 episode 17 | Simpsons World on FXX

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00:43

(SKIES OF SPRINGFIELD: Ext. skies of Springfield - day - establishing)

Homer Simpson: (SCREAMS OF AGONY)

Homer Simpson: (SCREAMS OF AGONY)

00:43

Homer Simpson: (FORREST GUMP VOICE) Want a chocolate?

00:45

Chief Wiggum: Hold it right there, Forrest Plump. This town has laws against impersonating movie characters.

00:51

Moe Szyslak: (À LA AUSTIN POWERS) Oh, behave!

00:57

Dr. Julius Hibbert: Luke, I am your father. (CHUCKLE)

01:03

Moe Szyslak: (A LITTLE LESS ENTHUSIASTIC) Shagadelic.

01:06

Chief Wiggum: (TO HOMER) What are you doing here anyway?

01:08

Homer Simpson: (NORMAL VOICE) Waiting for my wife. She has a surprise for me.

01:11

Chief Wiggum: Hey, hey, hey. I didn't ask for your life story.

01:14

Homer Simpson: Did you say "life story"?

01:20

Homer Simpson: Things started out great. I ate what my mother ate. And my mother loved chili. Then, suddenly:

01:33

(Springfield: Ext. springfield - town square - day)

01:33

Chief Wiggum: Wow, tell me some more.

01:34

Homer Simpson: Don't you have criminals to catch?

01:36

Chief Wiggum: Hey, I'm workin' on it. We uh, we got an undercover guy who's infiltrating the mob. Hey Pete! Pete! They fixed the coke machine!

Pete: (SCARED NOISE)

01:48

Chief Wiggum: Now, where were we?

01:49

Homer Simpson: My father and I were never really close.

02:11

Homer Simpson: I never found true happiness until I met Marge.

03:18

Homer Simpson: And life just gets more exciting.

03:31

Homer Simpson: Then came the day that changes every couple forever. The day we got our elephant.

03:57

Homer Simpson: While I wait for my family, I'll tell you about the time my baby shot my boss.

04:01

Chief Wiggum: Hey, that's great, but I gotta get goin'.

04:03

Chief Wiggum: Whoa! There's a whole 'nother row of these bad boys. Keep talkin'.

04:06

Lisa Simpson: It's time for your surprise, Dad.

04:10

Bart Simpson: Yeah. Hop in, Homer.

04:12

Homer Simpson: Ah, the family car... we've been through a lot together...

05:02

Marge Simpson: Now before we get there, you have to put this blindfold on.

05:08

Homer Simpson: (SURPRISED) All my other senses are getting sharper. Bart, you had pizza for lunch. Lisa, you're extremely depressed.

05:17

Lisa Simpson: (NERVOUS CHUCKLE) As if.

05:22

Krusty the Clown: Hey Homer, do you remember this voice?

05:25

Homer Simpson: Kathleen Turner! (BOB HOPE GROWL)

05:28

Krusty the Clown: No, it's me, Krusty.

05:30

Krusty the Clown: And you're at the Springfield Friars Club!

05:33

Krusty the Clown: Where tonight we're roasting you, Homer Simpson!

05:39

Homer Simpson: Are the proceeds going to charity?

05:41

Krusty the Clown: Hell no.

05:42

Homer Simpson: Woo hoo!

05:49

(FRIARS CLUB: Ext. Friars Club - establishing)

05:49

Krusty the Clown: We're all here tonight for one reason. To keep Homer away from the buffet.

Dr. Julius Hibbert: (CHUCKLES)

05:55

Nelson Muntz: Haw haw!

05:56

C. Montgomery Burns: Excellent.

05:58

Homer Simpson: (HURT GASP) That was at my expense. What kind of a roast is this?

06:03

Krusty the Clown: Now I'd like to read some telegrams from people who couldn't make it. First, we have Mark Spitz.

06:08

Lisa Simpson: Who's Mark Spitz?

06:10

Bart Simpson: What's a telegram?

06:11

Krusty the Clown: Aw, forget it. (MUTTERING) I gotta get to the hot wings before the Comic Book Guy.

06:18

Bart Simpson: (STAGEY) You know, Lisa, they say father knows best.

06:22

Lisa Simpson: (STAGEY) That's true, Bart. Our father knows the best way to embarrass his kids.

Dr. Julius Hibbert: (CHUCKLES)

06:29

Nelson Muntz: Haw haw!

06:30

C. Montgomery Burns: Excellent.

06:31

Lisa Simpson: But seriously, we've had a lot of fun with our dad over the years.

08:04

Lisa Simpson: A lot of people think our Dad's behavior has screwed us up. And it has!

Audience: (LAUGHS)

08:11

Bart Simpson: But it's all worth it just to hear him sing.

09:15

Krusty the Clown: And now, our next speaker is Mr. Warmth himself, C. Montgomery Burns.

Audience: (APPLAUDS)

09:23

C. Montgomery Burns: I stand here to expose the criminal ineptitude of Homer J. Simpson. Again and again he has brought this town to the brink of annihilation.

09:36

C. Montgomery Burns: Why are you laughing? His bungling has shortened your lives and mutated your children.

09:44

C. Montgomery Burns: Just look at all of his catastrophic nicompoopery!

09:48

Carl Carlson: (LAUGHING) "Poop."

10:27

Krusty the Clown: Now here's a couple that's been dating --

10:29

Krusty the Clown: -- carbon dating! (LAUGHS) Grampa Simpson and Agnes Skinner.

10:38

Grampa Simpson: Sweet Toledo! What's keeping that dress on?

10:41

Sideshow Mel: (YELLING FROM THE DAIS) The collective will of everyone in this room!

Dr. Julius Hibbert: (CHUCKLES)

10:45

Nelson Muntz: Haw haw!

10:46

C. Montgomery Burns: Excellent.

10:47

Agnes Skinner: (TO AUDIENCE) You fruits wouldn't know what to do with me!

10:51

Grampa Simpson: I first met Homer in 1927 in a bar in Brooklyn. Little did I know he would soon become Mrs. Joe DiMaggio. (FALLS ASLEEP, SNORES)

11:02

Krusty the Clown: Roll the clips!

11:04

Agnes Skinner: Hey Abe, you wanna hook up after the show?

12:47

Grampa Simpson: Yeah, to a suicide machine.

Agnes Skinner: (PHYLLIS DILLER LAUGH)

12:52

Grampa Simpson: Now everyone knows Homer loves his family...

12:56

Homer Simpson: (DRUNK) I'm sick of your lies. Secrets and lies. It's always secrets and lies.

13:04

Marge Simpson: Homer, these people are professional roasters. Don't give them fodder!

Homer Simpson: (SNORES)

Marge Simpson: (MURMURS)

13:14

Homer Simpson: (IN FOOD) Secrets and lies...

13:20

(Springfield Friars Club: ext. springfield friars club - night - establishing)

13:20

(FRIARS CLUB: Int. friars club - continuous)

13:20

Krusty the Clown: now let's welcome Springfield's original God couple. Reverend Lovejoy and Ned Flanders!

13:27

Ned Flanders: Thank you so much.

13:29

Ned Flanders: (SINGING) THE CAMPTOWN LADIES SING THIS SONG...

13:31

Ned Flanders: (SINGING) DOO-DA, DOO-DA...

13:34

Rev. Timothy Lovejoy: (SINGING) HOMER SIMPSON'S BREATH IS STRONG / OH, THE DOO-DA --

13:38

Ned Flanders: Hey, hey, now hold on there. The nice people want to hear the real words.

13:43

Rev. Timothy Lovejoy: But Ned, I was singing the real words.

13:47

Ned Flanders: (FRUSTRATED) Oh, let's just take it from the top.

13:49

Ned Flanders: (SINGING) THE CAMPTOWN LADIES SING THIS SONG...

13:52

Ned Flanders: (SINGING) DOO-DA, DOO-DA...

13:54

Rev. Timothy Lovejoy: (SINGING) THE CAMPTOWN RACE TRACK'S FIVE MILES LONG...

13:57

Ned Flanders: (ASIDE TO LOVEJOY) That's better.

13:58

Rev. Timothy Lovejoy: (SINGING, BIG) HOMER'S BREATH SMELLS BAD!

14:00

Ned Flanders: (FED UP) Oh, those are not the words!

14:12

Kodos: Silence!

14:13

Kang: Cease all quips and comebacks!

14:15

Krusty the Clown: Look, you weren't in dress rehearsal, so you're not in the show.

14:21

Krusty the Clown: (AS HE'S BEING REPEATEDLY ZAPPED) This can't be good for my pacemaker.

14:31

Marge Simpson: What are you doing here?

14:32

Kang: Our planet has been observing your puny species since your planet was created... five thousand years ago... by God.

14:39

Kodos: (TO HIMSELF) In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. (THEN, TO AUDIENCE) And now humanity must be judged. The fate of your planet rests on one human being... Homer Simpson.

14:50

Bart Simpson: Why him?

14:51

Kodos: Because he is the fat, selfish epitome of modern man.

14:54

Moe Szyslak: Hey! He stole my bit!

14:57

Kang: Now we shall probe you to see if you are worthy.

15:00

Moe Szyslak: Yep, word for word!

15:02

Kang: Okay, let's see what we've got.

15:06

Kodos: It has to be on channel three.

16:49

Kang: Your species is brutish and primitive.

16:52

Kodos: Do you have anything to say before we obliterate your planet?

16:56

Lisa Simpson: (DESPERATE) Wait! What about Maggie's memories? Surely the innocent soul of a child will redeem mankind.

Kodos: (MOCKING LAUGHTER)

17:05

Kodos: (LAUGHS, THEN:) Sure, let's give it a shot.

18:07

Lisa Simpson: It worked, Mom! Maggie's memories have shown them humanity's inner goodness.

18:11

Kodos: These are not tears. We are vomiting from our eyes! Your baby's treacle has only intensified our loathing.

18:18

Kang: Wait... look at the screen! The baby continues to reminisce.

18:59

Kodos: This child thinks of nothing but trendy Hollywood celebrities.

19:02

Kang: We can learn much from this innocent one, like Justin Timberlake's home phone number.

19:09

Marge Simpson: So, I guess you can't destroy Earth, since so many of your favorite celebrities live and work there.

19:14

Kang: We will not destroy the Earth...one condition.

19:18

Homer Simpson: You name it.

19:25

(SHRINE AUDITORIUM: ext. shrine auditorium - day)

19:25

Kang: (OVERJOYED) I can't believe we're going to the People's Choice Awards.

19:29

Kodos: And tomorrow the daytime Emmys!

19:35

(Lobby: INT. LOBBY - CONTINUOUS)

19:35

Kodos: (EXCITED) Ooh, it's Burt Reynolds and Michael Jeter!

19:37

Kang: Could an "Evening Shade" reunion be in the works?

19:41

Kodos: (GASP) There's Shannon Doherty? Didn't you have a thing with her?

19:44

Kang: Don't go there.

19:46

Gulliver Dark: ULLMAN SHORTS, CHRISTMAS SHOW, MARGE'S FLING, HOMER'S BRO

19:50

Gulliver Dark: BART IN WELL, FLANDERS FAILS, WHACKING SNAKES, MONORAIL

19:53

Gulliver Dark: MR. PLOW, HOMER SPACE, SIDESHOW BOB STEPS ON RAKES

19:56

Gulliver Dark: LISA'S FUTURE, SELMA'S HUBBY, MARGE NOT PROUD, HOMER CHUBBY

19:59

Gulliver Dark: HOMER WORRIED BART IS GAY, POOCHIE, BONO, NRA

20:02

Gulliver Dark: HIPPIES, VEGAS AND JAPAN, OCTUPLETS AND BART'S BOY BAND

20:06

Gulliver Dark: MARGE MURMURS, MAUDE CROAKS, LISA BUDDHIST, HOMER TOKES

20:09

Gulliver Dark: MAGGIE BLOWS BURNS AWAY / WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY? /

20:12

Gulliver Dark: (SINGING) THEY'LL NEVER STOP THE SIMPSONS /

20:15

Gulliver Dark: HAVE NO FEARS / WE'VE GOT STORIES FOR YEARS / LIKE... MARGE BECOMES A ROBOT / MAYBE MOE GETS A CELL PHONE / HAS BART EVER OWNED A BEAR? / OR HOW 'BOUT ... A CRAZY WEDDING WHERE SOMETHING HAPPENS / (HUMMING TUNE)

20:32

Gulliver Dark: (SINGS) "SORRY FOR THE CLIP SHOW / HAVE NO FEARS / WE'VE GOT STORIES FOR YEARS..."

SEASON 13 EPISODE 17

Gump Roast

This episode is available in 4:3 & 16:9

|

Audio commentary available

Homer is roasted at the Springfield Friar's Club, leading to recollections from the past. But the fate of the Earth hangs in the balance when aliens Kang and Kodos make an unexpected appearance. ...

CAST & CREW
Dan Castellaneta
Nancy Cartwright
Julie Kavner
Yeardley Smith
Harry Shearer

Producers
Al Jean

DIRECTORS
Mark Kirkland

WRITERS
Deb Lacusta
Dan Castellaneta

Read More +

CLIPS FROM THIS EPISODE

(5 Clips)

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Clip From S13/E17

Homer Gets Roasted
Clip From S13/E17

Homer Gets Roasted

Bart and Lisa talk about Homer embarrassing them.
Clip From S13/E17

Parasailing
Clip From S13/E17

Parasailing

Homer's parasailing trip gets cut short.
Clip From S13/E17

Le Grill
Clip From S13/E17

Le Grill

Homer tries to build a grill.
Clip From S13/E17

Maggie's Memories
Clip From S13/E17

Maggie's Memories

Maggie helps save the earth from being destroyed by the aliens.
Clip From S13/E17

Kang and Kodos Take Homer
Clip From S13/E17

Kang and Kodos Take Homer

Kang and Kodos declare that Homer is the only person who can save humanity.

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