King of the Hill | season 9 episode 23 | Simpsons World on FXX

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00:34

(Sky: ext. sky - day)

00:34

McBain: McBain to base. Under attack by Commie Nazis.

00:48

McBain: (AS HE WALKS TO REAR OF PLANE) They won't stop me from delivering these UNICEF pennies.

00:57

McBain: Go, pennies! Help the puny children who need you.

01:01

(Simpson Home: int. Simpson house - living room - continuous)

01:01

Bart Simpson: Wowwww! McBain has really buffed up. You could grate cheese on those abs.

01:06

Homer Simpson: Yeah, but can he do this?

Bart Simpson: (SHUDDER)

01:23

Commie Nazi: (GASP, THROWING UP HANDS) I surrender!

01:24

McBain: Not so fast.

01:29

Marge Simpson: That's what I call break-neck speed. (LAUGH)

01:33

Bart Simpson: (GRIMLY) Mom, a man just died.

01:37

Marge Simpson: (ANNOYED GRUMBLE) Anyway, it's time for the church picnic.

01:39

Homer Simpson: (GETTING UP) What? They had a picnic last week.

01:42

Marge Simpson: No they didn't. You just brought a bucket of chicken to church.

01:46

Homer Simpson: If God didn't want us to eat in church, he would have made gluttony a sin.

02:05

(Park: ext. park - day - a little later)

02:05

Lou: Hey!

02:05

Chief Wiggum: (SPUTTERS, THEN CALLS OUT) Ah, the joke's on you. We borrowed that jar from your table. So you just shot your own mustard!

02:12

Legs: (JOE PESCI VOICE) Aw nuts!

02:14

Homer Simpson: Ooo, still plenty of parking.

02:18

Rev. Timothy Lovejoy: (FRIENDLY) Nice to see you, Homer.

02:20

Homer Simpson: Yeah, out of the way, whoever you are. You're blocking the food.

02:30

(Burns's Limo: int. burns' limo - continuous)

02:30

C. Montgomery Burns: Ah, there's nothing like a good old-fashioned picnic. How's my kite doing, Smithers?

02:35

Waylon Smithers: Oh-ho, it's, uh, soaring majestically, sir.

02:38

Ralph Wiggum: You're it!

02:40

C. Montgomery Burns: We'll see about that. After him, Smithers!

02:44

Ralph Wiggum: (SCREAM) You're not it.

02:45

(Park: ext. park - hilly, rocky area - continuous)

02:45

Bart Simpson: Gentlemen, the game is capture the flag. Rod, ladies pick first.

02:51

Rod Flanders: Okay, I choose... Todd.

02:55

Milhouse Van Houten: Oh! Oh! Oh! Bart! Bart! Over here! O-over here!

02:59

Bart Simpson: Um... I'll take... Nelson.

03:05

Milhouse Van Houten: Saving the best for last, huh, Bart?

03:07

Bart Simpson: Yeah, that must be it.

03:08

Rod Flanders: I pick my Dad. Do you want to play capture the flag, Daddy?

03:14

Ned Flanders: Heh. (UNSURE) Sports on a Sunday? Hm. I'd better check with Reverend--

03:18

Rev. Timothy Lovejoy: (INTERRUPTING) Oh, play the damn game, Ned.

03:20

Bart Simpson: Yeah, well, if you get a grown-up, then so do we. I pick my Dad.

03:25

Nelson Muntz: Him?!

03:26

Bart Simpson: (CROSSING TO HOMER) Oh, you'd be surprised. He gets pretty competitive when he's drinking. C'mon, Dad. We're playing Capture the Flag!

03:33

Homer Simpson: Sorry, son, Daddy's down for the day. Why don't you go capture me some more potato salad?

03:37

Bart Simpson: But Rod picked his Dad. It's a matter of family honor.

03:41

Homer Simpson: Flanders is playing? Why didn't you say so?

03:49

Comic Book Guy: (SIGHS) Oh, it appears I will have to find a new Fortress of Solitude.

03:58

Bart Simpson: Okay, Dad, they've got our flag guarded pretty good...

04:00

Homer Simpson: I agree. Let's surrender.

04:02

Bart Simpson: (WHISPERING) No, wait. I have a plan. But I'll need your underpants.

04:05

Homer Simpson: Hmm... All right, but don't lose them. They're my only pair.

04:09

(FLAG ZONE: ext. flag zone - a minute later)

04:09

Bart Simpson: I got it! I got the flag!

04:12

Other Team: (AMID CHATTER) Get him!

04:16

Homer Simpson: (SNEAKY CHUCKLE) Stupid kids...

04:22

Milhouse Van Houten: This isn't the flag! It looks more like... Ewww!

04:29

Bart Simpson: (SLY CHUCKLE) Suckers! Go Dad!

04:42

Bart Simpson: Come on, Dad! Just a few more feet! Show 'em what you got!

04:49

Kids: Tag tag tag tag tag!

04:52

Homer Simpson: (GASPING) Time out... t... time out...

04:55

Nelson Muntz: (CONCERNED) Oh, I don't think he can get up. (THEN) Let's egg him!

05:07

Homer Simpson: (WHIMPERING SOUNDS) Oh, stop it!

05:09

Milhouse Van Houten: Hey, h-he's trying to turn over.

05:24

(Simpson Home: ext. simpson house - night - establishing)

05:24

Homer Simpson: I've never seen Bart so ashamed of me.

05:29

Homer Simpson: (SADLY) Oh, Marge. How could you let me let myself go like this?

05:33

Marge Simpson: Me? I'm not the one who puts butter in your coffee.

05:36

Homer Simpson: Yeah, well, I've humiliated my son for the last time. I'm going to get into shape.

05:41

Marge Simpson: (HEARD IT BEFORE) Whatever you say, sweetie.

05:43

Homer Simpson: No, I mean it. I'm really serious this time.

05:46

Marge Simpson: Okay, honey. Okay. I'll start taking in all your slacks. (QUIET LAUGHTER)

Homer Simpson: (DECISIVE GRUNT)

06:07

Homer Simpson: (TO DOG) Okay, boy, I want you to keep this exercise thing under your hat. That way I won't be embarrassed if I fail.

Santa's Little Helper: (BARKS ONCE)

Snowball II: (MEOW)

06:15

Homer Simpson: Oh, great. Now the cat knows.

06:17

Homer Simpson: (DEEP BREATH) Okay, here we go...

Homer Simpson: (DEFEATED GROAN)

06:34

Homer Simpson: (SUCKING IN GUT) Look, son. Daddy got in shape. E--

06:40

Homer Simpson: (DISAPPOINTED GROAN) I've got to keep trying! (THEN) Or I could just move that picture. (DETERMINED) No! The picture looked good where it was. (TO DOG) Boy, drag me back outside.

07:04

(Springfield Streets: ext. springfield streets - night)

Homer Simpson: (PAINED NOISES)

Homer Simpson: (LOUDER PAINED NOISES)

07:04

(Kwik-E-Mart: Int. Kwik-e-mart - two a.m.)

Homer Simpson: (CLEARS THROAT)

07:04

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: So what will it be, Mr. Simpson? Your usual bucket of ice cream covered with miniature pies?

07:19

Homer Simpson: Uhh... (LOOKING AROUND) Don't you have anything healthy here?

07:22

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: Oh, well, we have some low-salt candy bars and some reduced-fat soda. And our beef jerky is now nearly rectum-free.

07:31

Homer Simpson: Hey, these Power Sauce bars look pretty healthy.

07:34

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon: Oh yes, that is a new item. No bar contains more applesauce.

07:38

Homer Simpson: (READING LABEL) Hmm... A bushel of apples packed in each bar, plus a secret ingredient that unleashes the awesome power of apples. Wow.

07:53

(Streets: Ext. streets - three a.m.)

07:53

Homer Simpson: (RHYMES WITH "DIME") "Gym?" What's a "Gym?"

07:58

(Gym: Int. gym - a minute later)

07:58

Homer Simpson: Ohhh... (CHUCKLES, STILL RHYMES WITH "DIME") a gym.

08:06

Homer Simpson: Ow! Ow! Ow! Boy, am I feeling this. Ow! Oh, my head's gonna be sore in the morning. Ow!

08:14

Muscular Man: Excuse me. You're doing this station all backwards. Let me show you how to do it like a man.

08:21

Homer Simpson: (GASP) Ranier Wolfcastle! Oh, I love your movies and your Power Sauce bars and your taut, rippling--

08:26

Rainier Wolfcastle: Hey, hey, hey. That's enough. Now step over to the abdominator and I will shout slogans at you.

08:35

Rainier Wolfcastle: (GROWING FRENZY) Push! Harder! Go past the max! Reach over the top! Master your ass!

08:44

Homer Simpson: Wow, Wolfie. Two months ago I didn't know what the word "dumbbell" meant. This place is great.

08:54

Rainier Wolfcastle: Um-hm.

08:54

(Simpson Home: Int. Simpson house - bedroom - day)

08:54

Homer Simpson: (MACHO VOICE) Hello, handsome. Nice muscles. Care for a rubdown? (NORMAL VOICE) Oh-ho, well, I'm flattered, but spoken for. Oh, what the heck, give me your number.

09:06

Lisa Simpson: Dad, what have you done to your stomach?

09:08

Bart Simpson: And your chest!

09:09

Marge Simpson: And your shirt!

09:11

Homer Simpson: I have been working out secretly at night. And look at me now!

09:16

Marge Simpson: (IMPRESSED) Oh my goodness gracious!

09:19

Homer Simpson: Heh, heh, heh. Go ahead. Try and grab some flab. Go on. Ju--

09:22

Homer Simpson: (ANNOYED) No, not there.

09:24

Homer Simpson: Not there either. Over here.

09:25

Lisa Simpson: (ANNOUNCING) I've got some!

09:27

Homer Simpson: No, here. Try my foot. No, not that foot. Just feel my biceps.

Marge Simpson: (IMPRESSED NOISES)

09:32

Bart Simpson: Whoaa...

09:34

Homer Simpson: Well, whaddaya think of your old man now, son?

Bart Simpson: (FRIGHTENED NOISE)

09:39

Homer Simpson: Damn right.

09:45

Homer Simpson: How can you put that filth into your bodies?

09:48

Marge Simpson: (TO BART AND LISA) My casserole is not filth. Eat it.

09:52

Homer Simpson: Look at you people. Bart's a tub, Lisa's weak as a little girl, and Maggie doesn't seem to be growing at all.

09:59

Marge Simpson: Now that's just non--

10:00

Homer Simpson: You too, Marge. If you toned up a little, you'd probably get a lot more action. (WINKS, CLICKING NOISE)

10:05

Marge Simpson: Homer, stop insulting us and eat your filth. Food. I mean, food.

10:09

Homer Simpson: Sorry, I only eat food in bar form. When you concentrate food, you unleash its awesome power, I'm told. That's why I'm compressing five pounds of spaghetti into one handy mouth-sized bar.

10:25

Homer Simpson: Hm.

10:29

Homer Simpson: (CALMLY) Hospital, please.

10:33

(Gym: Int. gym - next day)

10:33

Rainier Wolfcastle: Homer, please remember to wipe your sweat off that machine. I got a terrible rash yesterday.

10:39

Bart Simpson: (IMPRESSED) You know Rainier Wolfcastle?

10:41

Homer Simpson: Yeah, he helped me blast through the burn and ride the zone.

10:46

Brad: Yo, yo, Rainier, my man! How ya doin'? I thought you'd be here, pumping those guns.

10:51

Neil: We've come up with a killer promotion for Power Sauce bars. Picture this: You...

10:56

Rainier Wolfcastle: I love it.

10:57

Neil: ...climb the highest mountain in Springfield...

11:00

Brad: The Murderhorn.

11:01

Rainier Wolfcastle: Are you crazy? That's suicide.

11:03

Neil: Oh, sure, for experienced mountain climbers. But you're a movie star. And you'll have the Power Sauce edge.

11:10

Rainier Wolfcastle: Not for all the applesauce in Glueckenschlaben.

11:15

Bart Simpson: (PROUDLY) My Dad could do it!

11:17

Bart Simpson: He eats fifty dollars' worth of Power Sauce bars a day.

11:21

Homer Simpson: (MANTRA) Overshoot the extreme, max the envelope, and so on.

11:24

Neil: Wow, he's really been paying attention to our slogans. Uh, Brad -- a word.

11:29

Neil: New angle: Joe Schlub eats Power Sauce bar -- becomes World's Mightiest Man.

11:34

Brad: It's believable. That's what I like about it.

11:38

Neil: Hm. Congratulations, sir.

11:38

Homer Simpson: Huh?

11:40

Brad: You're gonna be the first man to climb the Murderhorn.

11:43

Homer Simpson: I am?

11:49

Neil: Uh, no, that's it over there.

11:54

Neil: Yeah, that's it. (GENTLY TURNING HOMER'S CHIN) Just to the right of the one you're looking at.

Homer Simpson: (WORRIED NOISE)

12:09

(Simpson Home: Int. Simpson house - living room - day)

12:09

Homer Simpson: Okay, mountain-climbing supplies: rope, ice axe, heart medicine...

12:14

Grampa Simpson: Son! Don't go up that mountain! You'll die up there! Just like I did!

12:20

Homer Simpson: You? Did?

12:21

Grampa Simpson: Sure, it was the winter of '28...

12:26

Grampa Simpson: The Butter Baby Flapjack company sponsored me and a fella named McAllister. We were almost to the top, when we ran low on supplies.

12:37

Grampa Simpson: Heroically, I gave him the last short stack.

12:45

Grampa Simpson: Then, that glory hog took all the supplies and headed for the top alone.

12:53

Grampa Simpson: I fell 8,000 feet onto a pile of jagged rocks. 'Course folks were tougher in those days. I was jitterbuggin' that very night. But that skunk McAllister was never seen again.

13:08

Homer Simpson: If you're trying to scare me, it won't work. I'm one hundred percent focused on my goal. (NOTICING) Hey, my hat has ear flaps! (LAUGHS)

13:16

(Mountain: EXT. MOUNTAIN - DAY)

13:16

(BASE OF THE MURDERHORN: Ext. base of The Murderhorn - continuous)

13:16

Brad: And when he reaches the top, Mr. Simpson, here, will plant this Power Sauce flag as an eternal symbol of man's contempt for nature. Wait -- is "contempt" the word I want here?

13:26

Brad: Homer, you're the world's greatest hero. Do you owe it all to Power Sauce?

13:32

Homer Simpson: That's right, Brad and Neil. I only eat Power Sauce -- the bar with Apple-saucicity. ("SAUCE-ISS-IT-EE")

13:37

Marge Simpson: Has anyone mentioned that Homer doesn't know anything about mountain climbing and that this is all crazy?

13:44

Neil: Well, yes, a number of people. But don't worry. We're sending two Sherpas along as guides.

Sherpa #1: (TO SHERPA #2, TRANSLATION TO COME)

Sherpa #2: (TRANSLATION TO COME)

13:53

Homer Simpson: Aww. Goodbye, everyone. Don't touch my stuff.

13:57

Bart Simpson: (CONCERNED) Dad, wait. You're not risking your life just to impress me, are you?

14:02

Homer Simpson: (ADMITTING) Well, yeah...

14:04

Bart Simpson: (QUICKLY) Oh, cool! Now get goin', chop-chop!

14:09

Brad: Remember our agreement. He can't fail.

14:21

(Mountain: Ext. mountain - later)

14:21

Homer Simpson: (TO SELF, WINDED) Oh, man, this is hard.

14:25

Bart Simpson: Uh, Dad?

14:26

Bart Simpson: Shouldn't you save a couple bottles for when you're a little higher?

14:31

Homer Simpson: Bart, this climb is the most difficult ordeal I have ever faced.

14:36

(Simpson Home: Ext. Simpson house - roof - continuous)

14:36

Bart Simpson: Don't get discouraged, Dad. Only four vertical miles to go.

Homer Simpson: (FROM A DISTANCE, ANNOYED GRUNT)

15:02

(Mountain: Ext. mountain - midnight)

15:02

Homer Simpson: Wow! Look how far I climbed! And I'm not even tired!

15:07

Homer Simpson: Wake up, you lazy Sherpas. We've got a mountain to climb!

Sherpa #1: (TRANSLATION TO COME)

Sherpa #2: (TRANSLATION TO COME)

15:19

Brad: This Power Sauce news break is brought to you by Power Sauce. Get sauced with Power Sauce. Neil?

15:25

Neil: Our top story: Homer Simpson has just Power Sauced his way past the halfway point of the Murderhorn.

15:33

Neil: Brad, could Homer have made it this far without the engineered nutrition of six kinds of apples?

15:38

Brad: No way, Neil. (RECEIVING BULLETIN) Oh, this just in: Power Sauce is amazing!

15:48

Homer Simpson: (WAKING-UP NOISES) Huh?... Wha ya?... (NOTICING ROPE) Hey! You guys are dragging me up the mountain.

15:57

Sherpa #1: Brad and Neil were quite insistent you not die.

16:00

Sherpa #2: (CONFESSING) Frankly we don't care.

16:01

Homer Simpson: So nobody believes I can do this, huh? Well, my son does. And I'm not gonna let him down. I'm going to climb this entire mountain on my own.

16:10

Sherpa #1: Then technically, shouldn't you go back down the mountain and start all over?

16:14

Homer Simpson: Shut up. You are so fired.

16:17

Sherpa #1: Woo hoo!

Sherpas: (JUBILANT WHOOPS)

16:22

Homer Simpson: Homer Simpson here. I've sent the Sherpas home and I'm heading for the top, solo.

16:27

(POWER SAUCE CORP.: Int. power sauce corp. - continuous)

16:27

Brad: Are you crazy? You'll never make it.

16:29

Homer Simpson: (THROUGH WALKIE-TALKIE) The hell I won't. You're forgetting I've got my Power Sauce bars.

16:34

Neil: Wake up, Homer! Those bars are just junk. They're made of apple cores and Chinese newspapers.

16:39

(Mountain: EXT. MOUNTAIN - continuous)

16:39

Homer Simpson: Hey, Deng Xiao-Ping died.

16:43

Neil: (THROUGH WALKIE-TALKIE) Homer, listen to me! Turn back now!

16:46

Homer Simpson: Forget it. I'll be at the top by noon. Over and out.

16:55

Brad: (FUNEREAL TONE) Homer Simpson -- defying all medical advice -- has switched to Power Sauce's arch-rival: the Vita-Peach Health Log. Doctors say he may not have the meganutrients needed to stave off death.

17:06

(Simpson Home: Int. Simpson house - living room - continuous)

17:06

Bart Simpson: (UPSET) Oh, Dad's gonna die and it's all my fault! (THEN) I really need a good talkin' to.

17:11

Marge Simpson: Don't worry, kids. Your father'll be okay, as long as he's with those Sherpas.

17:16

Lisa Simpson: Uh... Mom?

Marge Simpson: (WORRIED MURMUR)

17:36

(Mountain: EXT. MOUNTAIN - day - HOURS LATER)

17:36

Homer Simpson: (GRUNTING AND BREATHING HARD, THEN TO HIMSELF) Air's getting thin, but I'm gonna make it. (BEAT) Woo! Getting lightheaded... Good -- no heavy head to carry. Wait! I'll just take that escalator!

18:09

Homer Simpson: (SINGING) La la la la la la la la...

18:18

Homer Simpson: (SINGING) La la la la la la la la la...

Homer Simpson: (ANNOYED GRUNT)

18:33

Homer Simpson: Just a few feet more...

Homer Simpson: (CLIMBING NOISES)

18:46

Homer Simpson: (TOTALLY DRAINED) I did it! I made it all the way to... Aw, crap!

18:54

Homer Simpson: (DEFEATED) It just keeps going! (SOBS) I give up. You beat me, mountain!

19:07

(Cave: Int. cave - continuous)

19:07

Homer Simpson: (RELIEVED SIGH) At least I won't freeze to death.

Homer Simpson: (SHORT SCREAM)

19:15

Homer Simpson: (READING) "Last entry. I have mountaineered to the utmost, but the peak is unclimbable. Worse still, that treacherous skunk Abe Simpson stole my oxygen, and tried to eat my left arm."

19:20

Homer Simpson: (DISGUSTED) Ew, Dad. (READING) "Tell my beloved wife my last thoughts were of her, blinding and torturing Abe Simpson. Cheerio."

19:35

Homer Simpson: (SAD NOISE) My Dad's a disgrace, just like Bart's Dad. Me. (SOBS)

19:50

(Mountain: Ext. mountain - continuous)

19:50

Homer Simpson: This may not be the top, but it's as close as a Simpson's ever gonna get.

19:56

Homer Simpson: This is for you, son.

Homer Simpson: (SHEEPISH NOISE)

20:16

Homer Simpson: (GROWING EXCITEMENT) Hey. Wait a minute. I'm on the top. I actually did it. I climbed the unclimbable mountain! Bow down before me, everyone! For I am your KING!

20:33

(Base Of Mountain: Ext. base of mountain - a little later)

20:33

Lisa Simpson: (WORRIED) Family to Dad. Family to Dad. Come in, Dad!

20:37

Brad: Uh, I'm pretty sure he's dead, little girl. Here, have a Power Sauce bar. It's on the house.

20:42

Bart Simpson: Hey! Something's coming down the mountain! Fast!

20:45

Marge Simpson: Oh no, he fell! I can't look!

Homer Simpson: (APPROACHING SCREAM)

20:56

Homer Simpson: Hi.

20:57

Marge Simpson: Oh, Homie! You're alive!

21:00

Homer Simpson: Oh, Marge, I never thought you'd see me again.

21:03

Lisa Simpson: Where in the world did you find a sled on top of the-- (HORRIFIED SCREAM)

Onlookers: (REVOLTED SOUNDS)

21:10

Dr. Julius Hibbert: We're too late. He's dead. (NOTICING SOMETHING) A-- And it looks like someone tried to eat him.

21:17

Grampa Simpson: What are you looking at me for? You're all crazy! Crazy as--

21:25

Grampa Simpson: Okay, here's what I think happened...

21:31

Bart Simpson: Didja make it to the top, Dad? Huh? Didja?

21:33

Homer Simpson: (COYLY) Why don't you tell me, son? See any interesting flags up there?

21:39

Bart Simpson: All I see is a pole. Maybe the flag fell off.

21:42

Homer Simpson: Aw, dammit!

21:44

Bart Simpson: Forget about it, Homer. You made it to the top. You're the coolest Dad ever.

21:49

Homer Simpson: (HUGS BART) Thanks, Bart. That makes it all worthwhile.

21:53

Marge Simpson: Is that your wallet?

Homer Simpson: (ANNOYED GRUNT)

SEASON 9 EPISODE 23

King of the Hill

This episode is available in 4:3 & 16:9

|

Audio commentary available

After improving his physique, Homer attempts to climb a treacherous mountain. Presented by FXX. ...

CAST & CREW
Dan Castellaneta
Nancy Cartwright
Julie Kavner
Dan Castellaneta
Nancy Cartwright
Julie Kavner
Yeardley Smith
Harry Shearer

Producers
Mike Scully

DIRECTORS
Steven Dean Moore

WRITERS
John Swartzwelder

Read More +

CLIPS FROM THIS EPISODE

(5 Clips)

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Clip From S9/E23

Powersauce
Clip From S9/E23

Powersauce

Homer works out and discovers Powersauce bars and an All Night Gym.
Clip From S9/E23

The Murderhorn
Clip From S9/E23

The Murderhorn

Bart volunteers Homer to climb a mountain for a Power Sauce promotion.
Clip From S9/E23

The New Dad in Town
Clip From S9/E23

The New Dad in Town

Homer shows off his new biceps.
Clip From S9/E23

The Escalator
Clip From S9/E23

The Escalator

Homer has a hallucination while climbing the Murderhorn.
Clip From S9/E23

Capture the Flag
Clip From S9/E23

Capture the Flag

Homer embarrasses Bart during a game of Capture the Flag.

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